Gaslighting is a sneaky way someone can make you doubt yourself and what you know to be true.
It happens a lot in relationships, where one person tries to control the other by twisting the truth.
Knowing the signs of gaslighting is important because it can help you understand if it’s happening to you.
When someone is gaslighting you, they do things like dismiss your feelings, twist your words, or make you feel like you’re always the one at fault.
These actions can make you feel confused and unsure about your own thoughts and memories.
It’s like trying to walk through a fog—everything seems unclear and you might even start to question your sanity.
This article lists 12 signs that might suggest you’re being gaslighted in your relationship.
1. Your Feelings Are Constantly Dismissed
Have you ever shared your feelings in a relationship, only to have them shrugged off or laughed at?
That’s a big red flag. People who gaslight often minimize or mock their partner’s emotions.
They might say you’re being too sensitive or that you’re overreacting, making you doubt your own feelings.
Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, unable to express yourself without judgment, can be incredibly frustrating.
In a healthy relationship, both people should feel safe and respected when they share their thoughts and emotions.
But if expressing yourself leads to more dismissals, it might be time to take a closer look at the dynamics of your relationship.
2. You’re Always the One at Fault
Ever notice how some arguments end with you always apologizing, even when you know deep down you shouldn’t have to?
That could be another sign of being gaslighted. Your partner may twist the truth so that things seem always to be your fault, and slowly, you start to believe it.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Feeling constantly blamed can wear you down and make you doubt your own actions and decisions.
A supportive partner should be open to admitting their own mistakes and working through problems together, not shifting all the blame onto you.
3. Your Memories Are Questioned
Sometimes the issue isn’t just about feelings or blame; it’s about your very sense of reality.
Are there times when your partner insists that events didn’t happen the way you remember them? That’s a common tactic in gaslighting.
They may assert that certain things you remember happening never occurred, or they might suggest you’re making things up.
Living with someone who continually questions your memory can make you question your sanity.
You might find yourself double-checking the simplest things because you’ve lost confidence in your own recollections.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, including trusting each other’s memories and experiences. When that trust is broken, it’s hard to feel secure or valued.
4. You Feel Like You Can’t Do Anything Right
Imagine always trying your best but being told that what you do isn’t good enough, or worse, completely wrong.
That’s what often happens with gaslighting. Your partner may constantly criticize your actions, no matter how hard you try to please them.
From the way you dress to how you talk or complete tasks, everything seems to be an issue.
Living under such constant criticism can really shake your confidence. You might start to feel like you’re incapable of making decisions or doing things correctly.
Partners should build each other up, not tear each other down.
5. You’re Starting to Lie to Avoid Drama
To keep the peace, you might find yourself hiding things from your partner or lying about your feelings and actions.
This usually happens because you’re trying to avoid arguments or criticism. Lying might seem like the only way to make life a bit more peaceful.
But here’s the thing: having to lie to keep someone else happy isn’t okay. It’s a sign that you don’t feel safe being your true self around your partner.
You should be able to be honest in a loving, supportive relationship.
6. You Feel Isolated from Friends and Family
Sometimes, without even noticing, you might start seeing less and less of the people you care about.
Your partner could be subtly making it difficult for you to spend time with friends or family.
Maybe they complain every time you want to go out or make you feel guilty for not staying home with them.
Feeling cut off from your support system is a big problem. It’s healthy to have relationships outside of your romantic one.
Being isolated can make you feel alone and dependent on the one person who should be encouraging your independence.
7. Your Accomplishments Are Downplayed
You worked hard and achieved something great, but instead of celebrating with you, your partner downplays your success.
They might claim that your accomplishments aren’t a big deal or suggest you were just lucky.
Hearing that your achievements don’t matter can be really hurtful. It’s important for partners to cheer each other on, not diminish each other’s success.
Celebrating each other’s victories is part of what makes a relationship so special.
8. You Constantly Feel Confused
Do you often find yourself unsure about what’s true and what isn’t? That sense of confusion is what gaslighters thrive on.
By spreading doubt and uncertainty, they gain control over the relationship. You might even struggle to trust your own thoughts and feelings.
A partner who loves and respects you will strive to make you feel secure and clear-headed, not confused.
Feeling perpetually uncertain isn’t just stressful; it’s a sign that something is seriously wrong in the relationship.
9. Your Mistakes Are Never Forgotten
No matter how small a mistake, it seems to stick around forever in your relationship.
Your partner brings up old errors as a way to criticize you or argue their point, even if it happened a long time ago.
Everyone makes mistakes, but in a loving relationship, you forgive and move on.
Hanging onto past mistakes like a scoreboard is no way to build trust or make someone feel loved.
Partners should work together to overcome challenges, not use them as ammunition during disagreements.
10. Apologies Are Rare and Insincere
Notice how your partner reacts when they’ve done something wrong.
An apology might come, but it feels empty, like they’re just saying the words to end the discussion.
Or, they might apologize but then act the same way again, showing that their words didn’t really mean much.
Genuine apologies are followed by efforts to change behavior. Everyone deserves to hear a sincere “I’m sorry” that leads to better actions, not just more empty promises.
11. You Find Yourself Apologizing for Their Behavior
You might start making excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends or family.
Explaining away their rudeness or temper as just having a bad day or being under a lot of stress becomes common.
Covering for someone else’s bad behavior is a heavy burden to carry. You should be able to count on your partner to present their best self to others, not make excuses for them.
12. You Rarely Feel Heard
During conversations, you might feel like your words just bounce off your partner.
They don’t truly listen or respond in a way that shows they understand what you’re saying. Instead, they might interrupt, change the subject, or just tune out.
Being heard and understood is crucial in any relationship. You should feel like your thoughts and words matter, not like you’re just talking to the wall.
