12 Signs You Should Not Marry Him

Marriage is a big decision, and it’s important to feel sure about your choice before taking that step. 

When you’re in love, it can be easy to overlook certain behaviors or red flags that might cause problems down the road. But paying attention to signs early on can help you avoid heartache later.

Noticing things that don’t sit right or make you feel uneasy is worth considering. It doesn’t mean every little issue will be a deal-breaker, but some signs can show that he might not be the right person for you to marry. 

Knowing what to look out for can help you make a decision you feel good about, with your happiness and future in mind.

1. You Feel Like You Cannot Trust Him

Trust forms the core of any lasting relationship. Without it, doubts and insecurities can creep in, making you feel uneasy. 

Trust isn’t just about being faithful; it’s about feeling safe and confident that he values honesty with you. If you notice yourself double-checking his words or feeling uncertain about his actions, that’s a sign that something is off.

Building a marriage with someone you can’t fully trust is like building on shaky ground. 

You deserve someone who keeps promises and makes you feel secure, not one who leaves you questioning his every move. Trust grows when both people feel respected and supported. 

A lack of trust, though, usually doesn’t magically improve—it often just leads to more problems down the line.

2. He’s Rushing Things with You

Taking things too fast can be a red flag, especially if he’s pushing for big steps before you’re ready. 

A healthy relationship gives both people the time to truly know each other and develop naturally. 

Rushing can sometimes mean he’s focused on his own needs, rather than the health of the relationship. He might be pushing forward for his own reasons, without considering how you feel about it.

Marriage is a huge commitment, one that deserves thought and preparation. Moving too quickly can leave you feeling overwhelmed or unsure, which isn’t a good foundation. 

Someone who truly respects you won’t force things but will give you the space to move at a pace that feels right. Taking time allows both of you to understand each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and dreams for the future.

3. He Shows Signs of Low Self-Esteem

A person’s self-esteem impacts how they view and treat others. Low self-esteem can bring insecurity and jealousy into the relationship, creating issues that aren’t your responsibility to fix. 

It often leads to a need for constant validation or reassurance, which can drain your energy. He might rely too much on you to feel good about himself, and that dependency can become a heavy weight in a marriage.

Marrying someone who struggles with self-worth can also affect how he treats you. Sometimes, low self-esteem leads to criticism or jealousy, where he projects his insecurities onto you. 

Confidence and self-respect are important in a marriage; they allow each partner to stand strong individually, which strengthens the bond between them. 

You deserve a partner who feels secure in himself and brings positivity, not someone who relies on you to fill that void.

4. He’s Lazy and Broke

Finances and motivation play a big role in building a stable future together. 

Someone who lacks ambition or avoids responsibility may have trouble contributing equally to the relationship. 

A lazy or unmotivated partner might leave you handling all the planning, bills, and long-term decisions alone, which can cause stress and resentment over time.

Money issues can lead to deeper problems when not taken seriously. A financially irresponsible partner often lacks stability, which impacts your shared future. 

You deserve someone willing to work towards your shared goals, not someone who drags you down or expects you to handle everything. 

Marriage thrives when both people bring commitment and responsibility to the table, creating a balanced partnership rather than a one-sided struggle.

5. He Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is essential in any relationship, especially one that might lead to marriage. 

When someone dismisses or ignores your limits—whether it’s about personal space, your goals, or your opinions—it shows a lack of respect. This isn’t something that just improves over time. 

If he constantly pushes you to change your boundaries or dismisses them altogether, you’re likely to feel undervalued and unheard. Relationships are built on mutual respect, and without it, a long-term future becomes shaky.

Besides, constantly having to defend your boundaries can be exhausting. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, trying to keep him happy without sacrificing your own needs. 

That’s not the foundation you want for a marriage. Pay attention to how he reacts when you set limits. 

A supportive partner respects those boundaries, understanding that they make you feel safe and valued. Ignoring them shows a lack of empathy—and empathy is vital in any marriage.

6. He Makes You Feel Like You’re Always in the Wrong

Healthy relationships involve two people who take responsibility for their actions and feelings. 

But when one person is constantly blamed, it creates an unfair dynamic. If he often makes you feel like you’re at fault, even when things aren’t your responsibility, that’s a red flag. 

Feeling blamed or guilty all the time leads to low self-esteem and a sense of helplessness, both of which are damaging in the long run.

When he never acknowledges his own mistakes, it shows an inability to self-reflect. 

Marriage requires both people to own up to their shortcomings and grow together. 

Constant finger-pointing just drags the relationship down. Look for a partner who’s willing to reflect, apologize, and change. 

Being with someone who can’t admit their faults makes marriage a one-sided battle where you’ll always feel on the losing end.

7. He Tries to Control Your Choices and Actions

A partner who wants to control your decisions, friends, or lifestyle often sees you as an extension of himself, rather than as an independent person. 

Control can start subtly, with small comments on how you dress or who you spend time with, but it can grow over time. 

Being with someone who tries to manage your life means giving up your freedom, and that can lead to resentment.

Marriage should be a partnership where both people support each other’s independence and growth. Feeling pressured to fit a mold or behave a certain way strips away your individuality. 

A controlling partner can make you feel suffocated and unable to be yourself. True love allows room for individuality, trust, and mutual respect—qualities that are hard to find in a relationship centered around control.

8. He Doesn’t Take Responsibility for His Actions

A partner who refuses to own up to mistakes or shifts blame onto others often causes a lot of frustration. 

Taking responsibility is a big part of maturity, especially in a relationship where both people need to work as a team. 

Constantly hearing excuses instead of genuine apologies or changes can be exhausting. You don’t want to end up in a marriage where every conflict feels one-sided.

Taking accountability shows respect and honesty, qualities that help a relationship grow. 

Someone who avoids responsibility might dodge important conversations or avoid working on areas where he could improve. 

A strong marriage relies on both people being accountable and open to growth, not on endless blame-shifting.

9. He Doesn’t Support Your Dreams and Goals

Having a partner who believes in you and supports your dreams makes all the difference. 

Feeling discouraged or put down by someone you love can be incredibly disheartening. 

A good partner should cheer for your ambitions, not dismiss them or make them seem unimportant. Marriage is about mutual encouragement, and both people should feel uplifted.

Goals and dreams give life meaning, and a supportive partner becomes part of that journey. 

Someone who isn’t interested in your passions or treats them as silly might not be the best person to share a future with. You deserve a marriage where each person feels empowered to chase their dreams, backed by love and understanding.

10. He Gets Angry Easily or Has a Bad Temper

Dealing with someone who has a short fuse can feel like walking on eggshells. 

Frequent anger, especially over small things, can make a relationship feel unstable. 

Anger issues often lead to more stress and anxiety, leaving you constantly trying to keep the peace. That kind of pressure wears you down over time, making it hard to feel safe or happy.

A healthy marriage thrives on calm, open communication, not bursts of anger or frustration. 

Living with someone who can’t control their temper often means facing arguments and tension over small issues. 

A partner who knows how to handle emotions respectfully creates a stable, peaceful environment where both people feel valued and secure.

11. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Loved or Appreciated

Everyone deserves to feel valued in a relationship, especially in a marriage. 

Feeling unloved or underappreciated takes a toll over time, and the relationship can start to feel empty. 

A partner who doesn’t put in the effort to show care and affection might not be ready for a serious commitment. 

Small gestures, kind words, and genuine interest go a long way in making a relationship feel fulfilling.

Marriage should feel like a partnership where love and appreciation flow both ways. A partner who rarely expresses gratitude or affection often leaves you feeling lonely, even if you’re together.

12. He Puts His Friends or Family Above You

Feeling like a low priority hurts, especially in a relationship. A partner who constantly puts friends or family first might not fully understand the commitment marriage requires. 

While it’s natural to care about loved ones, a good partner finds a balance that makes you feel valued and respected. A pattern of prioritizing others over you can lead to feelings of loneliness and neglect.

Marriage should feel like a partnership where each person feels valued and supported. A partner who consistently chooses others over you shows a lack of commitment to your shared future. 

Respect and balance matter, and you deserve a partner who makes you feel like an essential part of his life, not someone left on the sidelines.