“My Husband Only Talks About Himself” – What to Do About It

Living with someone who always talks about themselves can be exhausting.

You may feel like your thoughts and feelings aren’t being heard, and it can be frustrating when every conversation circles back to them. 

It’s important to address this issue because feeling ignored can lead to bigger problems down the road.

Your husband might not even realize what he’s doing. People who talk mostly about themselves often don’t mean to be selfish—they may just not notice that they’re dominating the conversation. 

Understanding the reasons behind this behavior is a key step toward fixing it.

Thankfully, there are ways to gently shift the balance so that both of you feel heard, and we’ll discuss it in this article. 

Reasons Why Your Husband Only Talks About Himself 

1. He’s Unaware of It

Sometimes, your husband may not even realize he’s constantly talking about himself. 

He might not be doing it intentionally; he could just be wrapped up in his thoughts or feelings. 

People often don’t notice when they dominate conversations, especially if they’re feeling stressed or excited about something. 

It’s not always about ignoring you—it could just be that he’s not paying attention to the flow of conversation.

In situations like this, it might help to gently point it out to him. Let him know you’d love to share your thoughts, too. 

You can say something in a relaxed, non-confrontational way, like, “I’d like to talk about my day too.” A lot of the time, just making him aware can help balance things out.

2. He’s Trying to Impress You

Sometimes, when someone talks a lot about themselves, it’s because they’re still trying to impress you. 

Even after years together, your husband might still feel like he needs to show you his accomplishments or thoughts to keep your attention. This can come from a place of insecurity or a desire to feel valued.

Acknowledging that he doesn’t need to do this might be helpful. Let him know that you already appreciate who he is, without needing to hear every little detail. 

Reassuring him could encourage him to open up the conversation to include you more.

3. He’s Dealing with Stress

When someone is under a lot of stress, they tend to get lost in their own world. 

Your husband might be facing challenges at work, with family, or something else that’s taking up a lot of his mental space. 

Talking about himself could be his way of processing those things. It’s not that he’s not interested in you, but his brain may be too occupied with his own issues.

In moments like these, try asking him directly how he’s doing. Sometimes, giving him the space to talk openly about what’s stressing him out can help him feel heard. 

It might also free up some of that mental space so he can start focusing on your side of the conversation, too.

4. He’s Developed a Habit

Talking about oneself can become a habit over time, especially if it’s something that’s been happening for a while. 

Your husband might just be used to being the one who talks the most, without even thinking about it. 

Once people fall into a pattern, it can be hard to break, even if they don’t mean to dominate the conversation.

The good news is, habits can be changed. You can slowly shift the balance by bringing up topics that interest you, or steering the conversation to things you both enjoy discussing. 

With a little patience, conversations can start to feel more balanced again.

5. He Feels More Comfortable Talking About Himself

Some people just find it easier to talk about their own experiences. Your husband might feel more comfortable staying in his own lane when it comes to conversations. 

Opening up about his thoughts and feelings could seem safer than diving into topics that involve listening or discussing deeper emotions. He might not even realize he’s avoiding other subjects.

Encouraging him to ask about your day or your feelings could help. Just gently guide the conversation toward a two-way exchange. 

Often, it only takes a small nudge to get someone to open up beyond themselves.

6. He Lacks Good Communication Skills

Not everyone grows up learning how to hold balanced conversations. 

If your husband wasn’t taught how to actively listen, he might be missing the social cues that tell him to stop talking and let you speak. 

Some people need a little help understanding how to engage in more give-and-take dialogue.

You can try modeling the kind of communication you want. Show him how to ask questions and listen by doing the same when you talk. 

Over time, he might start to mirror your behavior and pick up on better communication habits.

7. He’s Seeking Validation

Your husband might be talking about himself because he’s seeking some kind of validation or affirmation. 

He could be fishing for compliments or just hoping to feel valued. Constantly talking about achievements, thoughts, or experiences might be his way of asking for reassurance without directly saying it.

Offering small affirmations during the conversation might satisfy this need for validation, and once he feels reassured, the conversation could naturally shift toward more mutual topics.

What To Do When Your Husband Only Talks About Himself

1. Gently Bring It Up

Talking about the issue directly, but kindly, can be a game-changer. Sometimes, your husband may not realize he’s monopolizing the conversation. 

Bringing it up in a gentle, non-accusatory way can help him understand how you feel without making him defensive. 

You could say something like, “I feel like I don’t get to share as much as I’d like to.” That way, you’re not blaming him but letting him know how it’s affecting you.

Try to keep the tone light when you bring it up. The goal is to have an open conversation where both of you feel comfortable. 

Once he knows how you feel, he’ll be more likely to adjust his behavior.

2. Set Boundaries in Conversations

Establishing boundaries during your conversations can create more balance. You don’t have to sit back while he talks endlessly. 

Politely interrupt and share your thoughts, too. Saying, “I’d love to talk about my day now,” or “I want to add something to what you said,” can naturally shift the conversation to a more equal space. 

Setting these kinds of boundaries doesn’t mean being rude; it means ensuring that both voices are heard.

Over time, this can change the rhythm of your conversations. As you keep practicing, it will feel more natural for both of you to share time talking, instead of him taking up all the space.

3. Encourage Him to Ask Questions

Sometimes, people just need a little nudge to engage in better conversations. 

Encourage your husband to ask you more questions by asking him things like, “What do you think about what I said?” or “Do you want to hear my thoughts?” 

These simple prompts can remind him to take an interest in what you have to say. Encouraging this type of dialogue can help him become more curious about your perspective.

Once he starts asking more questions, conversations will feel more two-sided. He may even realize that he enjoys hearing your opinions and insights just as much as sharing his own.

4. Model Active Listening

One of the best ways to teach someone to listen is to be a good listener yourself. 

When your husband talks, give him your full attention and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. 

Show him what active listening looks like. This can set a positive example without you having to lecture him about it. You’re demonstrating the kind of communication you’d like in return.

Doing this might inspire him to give you the same courtesy when it’s your turn to speak. 

Conversations should be a two-way street, and sometimes, leading by example works wonders.

5. Share Your Feelings Without Blaming

Telling your husband how his behavior makes you feel can open his eyes. Without placing blame, express how it affects you when the conversation revolves around him. 

Saying something like, “I feel left out when I don’t get to share my thoughts,” lets him know the impact without making it an argument. 

Being clear about your feelings can make him more aware of his behavior.

Once he understands how it affects you emotionally, he might be more mindful moving forward. 

People are more likely to change when they see how their actions hurt someone they care about.

6. Suggest a Time for Both of You to Share

Creating a structure where both of you get time to talk can be a simple solution. 

For example, you can agree that each of you gets a few minutes to talk about your day before moving on to other topics. 

This makes the conversation feel more balanced and ensures that both of you have time to speak.

This kind of structure can help avoid situations where one person dominates. 

Over time, you may find that conversations flow more naturally between the two of you without needing to set strict limits.

7. Be Patient, Change Takes Time

Change doesn’t happen overnight. If your husband has been talking mostly about himself for a long time, adjusting this habit will take time and patience. 

Gently reminding him when he slips into his old habits is important. Instead of getting frustrated, remind him how much you enjoy sharing conversations that go both ways.

Staying patient and consistent will help create a lasting change. With time, he’ll likely become more conscious of how he speaks and make more room for you in the conversation.

8. Consider Couples Counseling

Sometimes, outside help can be beneficial if the pattern is hard to break. 

Couples counseling provides a safe space where both of you can learn better communication skills. 

A professional can help both of you understand how to talk and listen in a more balanced way. It’s not about pointing fingers; it’s about learning how to connect better.

If the issue persists despite your efforts, counseling can provide tools and strategies that make a big difference. It’s a way to invest in improving your relationship and communication long-term.