10 Signs You Hate Yourself (& How to Stop)

Hating yourself can happen without you even realizing it. 

Sometimes, the way you treat yourself, the thoughts you have, or the actions you take can point to deeper feelings of low self-worth. 

These feelings can build up over time and affect how you see yourself and how you live your life.

The good news is, once you recognize these signs, you can begin to change them. 

Understanding how self-hate shows up is the first step toward healing and feeling better about yourself. It takes time, but with small steps, you can start to replace negative habits with ones that build confidence and self-love. 

1. Negative Self-Talk

One big sign of self-hate is constantly criticizing yourself. 

When your mind is filled with phrases like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I always mess things up,” you’re tearing yourself down instead of lifting yourself up. 

Negative self-talk is sneaky because it often feels like the truth. But just because your brain says it doesn’t make it real.

Over time, these negative thoughts wear you down, and you start believing them. The more you repeat those damaging ideas, the more they shape how you see yourself. 

It can make everything feel hopeless, like you’re stuck in a cycle of failure. And that makes it really hard to try new things or even just enjoy life.

Breaking that pattern is tough, but it’s possible. Start catching yourself when you’re being hard on yourself. 

Replace the criticism with kindness. Instead of thinking, “I’m such a failure,” try saying, “I’m learning, and that’s okay.” It won’t change overnight, but with practice, you can change how you talk to yourself and boost your confidence.

2. Avoiding Self-Care

When people don’t like themselves, they often neglect their needs. 

You might skip meals, ignore personal hygiene, or not bother doing things that make you feel good. 

Taking care of yourself feels pointless because deep down, you might think you don’t deserve it. But ignoring self-care only makes things worse.

Neglecting yourself can leave you feeling more exhausted and empty. It’s a cycle where the less you care, the worse you feel, and then the harder it becomes to do anything. 

Eventually, it feels like you’re running on empty, and even simple tasks feel overwhelming.

To change this, start with small actions. You don’t need a complete lifestyle makeover. Do one thing each day that nourishes you—like eating a proper meal, getting a good night’s sleep, or even going for a short walk. 

These little acts of care help build a sense of worth over time. Taking care of yourself sends a message to your brain that you’re worth the effort.

3. Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others

A lot of self-hate comes from comparing yourself to others. Looking at what other people have or what they’ve achieved can make you feel like you’re not measuring up. 

Social media can make this worse since you’re often only seeing the highlights of someone else’s life. Comparing your worst moments to someone else’s best is unfair to yourself.

The problem with constant comparison is that it’s never-ending. There will always be someone smarter, better-looking, or more successful. 

Focusing on what others have takes away from appreciating your own unique qualities and achievements. It creates a mindset where you’re never satisfied with who you are.

The way to stop is by focusing on your own path. Celebrate small wins and recognize that everyone is on a different journey. It’s not about being better than others; it’s about being better than you were yesterday. 

Let go of unrealistic standards, and remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to how you compare to others.

4. Being Too Hard on Yourself After Mistakes

Making mistakes is part of life, but being overly critical about them can be a sign of self-hate. 

You might find yourself replaying the mistake in your head over and over, blaming yourself more than necessary. 

Even small errors can feel huge when you constantly criticize yourself, and this can lower your confidence and motivation.

Instead of beating yourself up, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, and then move forward. 

Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle them can change how you feel about yourself. Start by reminding yourself that mistakes don’t define you—they are simply part of learning.

Taking a moment to breathe and reflect helps you respond to challenges with more patience and kindness. 

Letting go of harsh self-criticism makes room for personal growth and a more positive view of yourself.

5. Struggling to Accept Compliments

Having trouble accepting compliments is another sign of self-hate. 

Compliments may feel uncomfortable or even untrue, and it might be tempting to brush them off or downplay them. 

Rejecting positive feedback about yourself can come from believing deep down that you’re not worthy of it.

To change this, practice accepting compliments with gratitude. The next time someone says something nice about you, try saying “thank you” without adding a negative comment. 

It might feel awkward at first, but over time, accepting compliments becomes easier. This small act can slowly help you see the good in yourself that others already notice.

Remember, accepting a compliment doesn’t mean being arrogant—it’s about recognizing your worth. Letting those positive words in helps to shift your mindset and boosts your self-esteem.

6. Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Happiness

Believing you don’t deserve good things in life can be a major sign of self-hate. 

You might feel like success, love, or happiness isn’t meant for you, even when it’s within reach. 

This mindset keeps you stuck in a cycle of negative thinking and prevents you from enjoying the positive things around you.

To break this cycle, start reminding yourself that you deserve happiness and success, just like anyone else. 

Write down your achievements, no matter how small, and reflect on the things you’ve done well. This practice helps to build your confidence and slowly changes the way you see yourself.

Allow yourself to enjoy life’s little pleasures without guilt. As you begin to embrace happiness, you’ll notice that it gets easier to believe that good things are meant for you, too.

7. Neglecting Your Health

Ignoring your health is another sign that you might be struggling with self-hate. 

Skipping meals, not exercising, or avoiding rest can all be forms of self-neglect. When you don’t prioritize your well-being, it’s easy to feel tired, unmotivated, and disconnected from yourself.

Start by taking small steps to care for your body and mind. Eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and staying active can improve both your physical and mental health. 

These small acts of self-care signal that you value yourself and want to feel good.

Prioritizing your health doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply treating your body with kindness—like making time for rest or choosing nourishing foods—helps build a healthier relationship with yourself over time. 

As you start to feel better, your self-esteem will naturally improve.

8. Self-Sabotaging Your Own Success

Self-sabotage can be a huge sign that you’re dealing with self-hate. This happens when you actively work against your own progress, often without realizing it. 

For example, you might put off important tasks, not follow through on commitments, or purposely miss opportunities. 

Deep down, you might believe you don’t deserve success, so you unconsciously create obstacles for yourself.

To stop self-sabotaging, begin by recognizing the patterns. Be honest with yourself about the ways you might be holding yourself back. 

Once you’re aware of it, you can take steps to change. Set small, achievable goals and follow through with them. Build up your confidence by focusing on completing tasks one step at a time.

Overcoming self-sabotage requires patience and self-compassion. As you start to trust yourself more and allow yourself to succeed, you’ll notice your confidence growing. 

Taking control of your actions and celebrating your wins, no matter how small, is a great way to break free from self-sabotage.

9. Pushing Away People Who Care About You

Pushing away people who love and care for you is another sign that you might struggle with self-hate. 

You might believe you’re not worthy of love, so you distance yourself to protect others or yourself. 

This can look like avoiding people, starting arguments, or not allowing anyone to get too close. Unfortunately, this isolation can make feelings of loneliness worse.

Instead of pushing others away, try opening up about how you feel. Let trusted friends or family members know what’s going on, even if it’s hard to talk about. 

Being vulnerable with those who care about you can help strengthen relationships and remind you that you are deserving of love and support.

It’s okay to lean on others and allow them to help you through tough times. The people who care about you want to see you happy and healthy. Letting them in can be the first step toward healing and rebuilding your self-esteem.

10. Feeling Unworthy of Kindness or Help

Rejecting kindness or help from others may indicate you believe you’re not worth caring for. 

You might find yourself thinking that accepting help makes you weak or that you’re a burden to others. This belief can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-reliance, even when you really need support.

Start by reminding yourself that everyone needs help sometimes, and asking for it doesn’t make you any less strong. 

Accepting kindness from others allows you to build healthy, supportive relationships. You deserve to feel cared for, just like everyone else.

Learning to accept help is a practice that takes time, but the more you open yourself up to it, the easier it becomes. 

Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people who want to help you can make a huge difference in how you view yourself.